Pros and cons of choosing to do a first look before your wedding or elopement ceremony.

First and foremost, don’t let anyone tell you that you should or shouldn’t do a first look. It’s a highly personal decision that really depends on what is important to you both and your big day. With that being said, you might need a little help deciding if you should or shouldn’t schedule that first look in your timeline.

If we haven’t met, I’m Dani, the photographer and owner behind Ronny and Rene Photography! I serve couples all over the Pacific Northwest and sometimes, beyond. In my 94 weddings and counting (we will hit 100 this summer!) I have found that the only right answer to “should we do a first look?” is the one that resonates best with your wedding day vision.

What is a First Look?

A first look is a special, private time on your big day to “reveal” your wedding day look to your partner. In most cases, this takes place at your wedding location, somewhere away from the hustle of the day. Some couples choose to do a “turn around and be surprised” approach, others have a formal staircase reveal. The possibilities are endless.

When I photograph a first look, I usually place one person in a beautiful location facing the other way. I guide the other person behind, fluff her dress if it’s the bride and then they tap their partner’s shoulder, he turns around and boom- perfect photo opportunity. After a few photos, I give the couple a few minutes alone and then when they are ready, we take a few prompted couple shots.

Some couples choose this time to read their vows privately, share a pre-wedding gift, take a shot together, pray together or just hold each other before being in front of everyone.

The No First Look Alternative

Alternatively, some couples want to maintain that more traditional element of surprise on their wedding day. When we don’t do a first look, the couple’s first reveal to each other happens when walking down the aisle. In most cases, they haven’t seen each other since the day before! They have no idea what the other person looks like until they are at that ceremony, ready to commit their lives to each other. It’s definitely the more exciting and traditional route!

The Pros and Cons of a First Look

So they both sound great, what do you do? Here’s a look at the pros and cons, or really just the pros to each decision, and a few ideas to meet more in the middle.

Pros to a First look

1. The biggest pro in my opinion is to remember the “why” of the day. Sometimes the craziness and meaning of the day just makes you nervous. There is a lot of moving parts, a lot of people and it can be easy to forget the whole reason you are there in the first place. The first look gives you a chance to see your person, touch them and remember why you are doing this! It helps to keep you a little more grounded before the day.
2. You can get most of the formal shots with the entire bridal party and family done before the ceremony. This frees up time after the ceremony to get to your guests and reception quickly rather than taking more time for those photos.
3. You can take couple’s pictures while you are freshly ready and in your dress and suit. I mean, let’s face it, your hair and make up probably looks the best right after it’s done, before the crying or weather happens!
4. You can choose to do a ceremony closer to sunset. You will still have good lighting for the remainder of the day’s photos. I always recommend doing your ceremony earlier in the day if you choose not to do a first look so that family and bridal party photos don’t happen after dark. Although, this isn’t really much of an issue in the summer when the sun sets later.
5. You don’t have to stress about hiding from each other all morning, especially if your venue has one gathering spot for pre-ceremony time.

Pros to No First Look

1. The walk down the aisle is even more of a sacred moment than it already is. This is that first moment that you realize, “oh yeah, there’s my person.”
2. The look on the groom’s face is usually a little more candid. It truly is his first time seeing his bride and that is a cool thing to capture.
3. You don’t need as much photography coverage at the front end of your wedding. Most of the photos will take place after the ceremony. Typically, we take getting ready photos, separate bridal party group photos and individuals before. We get the whole bridal group and family after.
4. You get to experience the fairy tale moment with all of your friends and family.

Ideas for Meeting in the Middle

So both ways sound great, here are some ideas to meet in the middle.

If you want to spend time with your person:

Consider a first touch or the doorway approach. Have your photographer position each of you on either sides of a door, a tree, a pole- some sort of visual blocker. This way, you can hold hands, talk to each other, exchange private vows and still not see each other until the aisle walk.

If you want to cut back on photo time after the ceremony:

First, make sure you plan a cocktail hour for your guests so that they can grab drinks and snacks and mingle while you take photos. Have your photographer schedule all separate shots of each bridal party and family individual shots before the ceremony. This leaves time after the ceremony for only the whole bridal party and family photos with both of you.

If you want the first look but still an element of surprise:

Save your veil for the aisle walk. The veil adds a huge “bridal-fairytale” look that will still add an element of surprise, and possibly a few groom tears, to the walk down the aisle.

I hope that helps your decision to do, or not to do, a first look. There’s really no right answer. Regardless of what you decide, at the end of the day, you will be married to your best friend. You can’t beat that.

As always, if you have specific timeline or wedding ideas and questions, I’m your girl! Cheers!